Dear Mom,
Though a year and some odd months have passed, the hole in my heart still aches in your absence.
Not all days are sad days;
I have found joy in places and moments and people again.
I laugh when I feel joy, and I cry when I feel the pain.
Mom, I have learned that Grief cannot be broken down into stages, phases, or chapters in a book
Grief is ongoing, every day.
Grief is no monster that's out to sneak up and destroy you, grief lies heavy on us to allow us to heal.
Facing my grief over all this time has brought me closer to you
Life is busy, people forget
But I haven't and there is no probability that I ever will.
Mom, I have been to beautiful places (places you would never be because they were far too cold)
I have seen things bigger than myself.
As I stood in the presence of a mountain that towered North America at 20,237 feet, I thought of you
I thought of you and where you are right now.
As I stood looking at this mountain, in the silence of such a busy Earth, I felt your embrace.
I felt comfort in knowing that maybe you weren't so far away
I saw a movie this past weekend and found myself in tears
I can't be sure if it was due to the plot or the ambiguity of his words, but he said something that brought my mind back to you.
"Love is the one thing that transcends time and space"
In that moment, I was struck with emotion
No matter how mad I have ever been with you or how far away I have been
Not life, not death
Nothing could change the love I have for you because love transcends all things.
Mom, do not be worried for me because I think I will make it along just fine.
Though our time together on this Earth ended all too soon, I find myself growing stronger because that is all you ever showed me.
Your quotes and lessons continue to resonate inside me and build me up every single day
You taught us to "live in the moment" and "enjoy every stage of our lives"
I know you're never too far away, my angel
I love you always!
Sage
